


5 Minutes

by JetBlvckPhan



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-27
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-03 15:43:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 11,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5296982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JetBlvckPhan/pseuds/JetBlvckPhan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An obsessive fan girl gets a follow on Twitter from her fave Michael Clifford. When she starts ignoring the rest of the world, shit goes down. </p>
<p>Warnings:<br/>Talk of Self Harm<br/>Talk of Eating Disorders<br/>Talk of Bryanna and Arzayalea<br/>it's better than the description I promise :)</p>
<p>I hope you enjoy reading! I enjoyed writing this a lot c:</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

\- 07/28/2015 -

5secsofClifford:

Oh my god!

Thank you for following me!

It literally means the world to me.

You're like my idol.

That sounds weird.

Oh well.

So I see you're not very talkative.

That's cool.

Jk. I know you probably get a thousand of these per second.

I'm gonna keep on typing anyways.

Because maybe, just maybe, you'll see this.

Haha my friend is yelling at me to stop freaking out.

Like, what am I supposed to do with a Michael Clifford follow? Just blow it off? Like it's nothing? No.

This means somehow for some reason you saw me.

That means there's a chance you might see me again.

Then you'll talk to me and we can become best friends.

Maybe that won't happen.

But I hope it does.

I think you'd like me.

I'm kinda shy at first, but I'm a real weirdo once you get to know me.

Maybe that's not a good thing to you, but you seem like a weirdo yourself.

Oh my god. I'm so failing at this.

You're not a weirdo, but your fun is all I meant.

You probably knew that, though.

I'm pretty much just rambling I guess.

What else am I supposed to do, though?

If I don't keep sending messages, there's no way you'll ever see this.

So I must keep messaging.

I don't know what to say anymore, though.

\- 07/29/2915 -

Hey Michael.

Did you sleep well?

Maybe you're not awake yet.

All I know is you're in my time zone.

For now.

Soon you'll be somewhere else in America, but still close to my time zone.

When you go back to Australia my sleep schedule is going to get all messed up.

I am determined to get a message back from you.

My friend thinks I'm stupid for trying to get you to talk to me.

What does she know? She's not even a fan girl.

She does like your music, though.

Thanks to me :3

She thinks I'm weird for obsessing so much.

Maybe I am but we've already been through this.

I'm a weird person.

And my guess is you are too.

I don't really know, though, because I've never talked to you.

I think you are because you act weird in all of your videos.

\- 07/30/2015 -

I'm back.

I had to leave yesterday because I went over to my friend's house and she made me leave my phone at home.

She thought I was going to text you all night instead of talk to her.

She was right.

That makes me seem very lonely, doesn't it? I'm not I swear. I just really love you.

Psssst This is where you say you love me back *whispers* It's ok.

We'll just pretend you said it.

*sigh* So how are you today?

I hope you're doing good.

Are you excited for your concert tonight?

That must be so cool to tour the world.

My mom is calling me.

I'll text you later.


	2. School

09/07/2015

Hey Michael!

How are you today?

I'm kinda sad. Tomorrow I have to go back to school. :/

Oh yeah, sorry I haven't messaged lately. I got my phone taken away. I don't even know why.

My mom just yelled at me and told me to read a book. But I'm back now!

Micahaellllll what should I wear to school tomorrow?

*picture message*

Which one?

Come on, help me out. You're a guy. What would you notice a girl in more?

That's fine. I'll just guess.

Probably the skirt outfit. I don't know, though.

They're both pretty casual, but the first one is more casual.

Would I look too dressy in the skirt?

Why do I keep asking you. You're not going to answer.

I'm going with the skirt.

Speak now or forever hold your peace.

Alright it's set.

Dude introduce me to Halsey.

I'm listening to her music and she's bæ. I heard she has your sweatshirt.

I'm jealous to say the least.

I'm not sure if I'm more jealous of her or you, though.

Hahaha who am I kidding. I'm more jealous of her.

If some day you answer this, and we become best friends, you have to introduce me to her.

Ok it's getting late. I should sleep.

Good night <3

*we all know you said goodnight back.*

09/08/2015

School is hell.

There's no music and no 5sos and no fangirling.

I think it's my literal worst nightmare.

And yes I knew this before I went, but it's just horrible.

I did hang out with my friend Flora, though. She's the one who's not a fan girl but likes your music.

She introduced me to a few people, but me being an awkward little ducky, said close to nothing.

But that's ok. One good friend is better than a thousand fake friends.

Plus I have you.

Even if you never text back it makes me feel better to talk to you.

I don't know why. Probably because there's a chance you'll see it and talk to me.

09/09/2015

It's 9/9 today Michael.

It's a lucky day.

That's what I think anyway.

So I'm texting in class. I'm hoping with luck and my skill will help me not get caught.

I don't even have to look to type. That's how much I do this.

Not sure if that's a good or bad thing.

I think it's a good thing. It means I'm well coordinated.

Well not really. I have horrible coordination.

Like to the point where when I play a sport I always end up hitting myself in the face. 

LAUGH ITS FUNNY.

:( I guess I'm not funny.

It really wasn't a joke, though. It's true. I just laugh at myself.

I really hate sports.

I'd play sports with you, though.

You'd probably laugh at me. But that's ok.

Maybe it'll be an endearing laugh.

Maybe not. Oh well.

La la la

Shit my teacher is walking over. I have to go!


	3. The Game

5secsofclifford:

10/30/2015

Gosh it's been forever. I guess I haven't been on Twitter much.

Your tour's almost over! That must be exciting to go back home....

Maybe kinda sad. Idk which.

Anyway, tomorrow's Halloween. I bet you're going to dress up on stage.

That wouldn't surprise me one bit.

I'm dressing up as Jigglypuff tomorrow.

I used to be obsessed with Pokemon. Jigglypuff was always my favorite.

It's not the best outfit, but I think it's cute enough.

*picture message*

Looks more like an everyday outfit without the wig.

Idc though. It was a cheap costume that still looks cute.

Flora invited me to a party tomorrow.

I'm a bit nervous. I'm pretty socially awkward.

It makes me really nervous just thinking about it.

Flora says my costume is cute which is good. At least I won't feel left out.

I'm bored.

Let's play a game. I'll start a song you say the next verse. You have 5 minutes.

You look so perfect standing there...

...

1 minute left.

Come on that one's easy it's your own song.

Ok fine.

Wendy run away with me. I know I sound crazy. Don't you see what you do to me?

4 minuets.

Hint: it's all Time low song.

1 minuet.

You're really bad at this game. The song was somewhere in never land.

It's one of my favorites.

What's your favorite song? Atm anyway.

I know it's hard to pick.

Ok well I'm still bored so I'm going to bed.

10/31/2015

Happy Halloween!

Yea I gotta go. I'll text you later.

Oh my god. I can't breathe.

The party is crowded and Flora left me.

I think I'm going to hyperventilate.

I'm trying to calm myself down.

Oh gosh. I'm hiding in the backyard playing your album.

Ok let's play the game again. Please. It'll distract me.

I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted.

Please be there Michael. I need a distraction.

3 minuets.

Michael5sos:

I thought about our last kiss how it felt the way you tasted.

5secsofclifford:

Oh my god thank you. That made me smile. :)

Michael5sos:

You're welcome :) I read through some of the messages.

I used to get like that. Just breath and if that doesn't work, go home.

No point in partying if you're not having fun right?

5secsofclifford:

That's actually really smart. Thank you. Have fun on stage tonight :)

Yeah, I'm leaving Flora. I can't find her and I can't handle this.

Michael5sos:

Thank you! I will. We're dressed as ninja turtles for Halloween :3

Anyway I have to go. It was nice having an actual conversation with you :)

5secsofclifford:

It was awesome talking to you too <3

Now I'm home. I'm in such a good mood because of you.

I'm gonna watch cute Malum moments online.

I don't your think gay don't get me wrong.

If you are that's fine too.

Either way, Malum as friendship is too funny.

The behind the scenes of she's kinda hot makes me laugh so hard every time.

Ok thanks for making my night <3

Goodnight Michael <3


	4. Nathan

11/01/2015

@5secsofClifford

Hey, Mikey.

How are you?

You guys looked fabulous on stage last night :3

Thanks again for talking to me last night.

It helped a lot.

Ugh Flora is being annoying. She won't text me.

I know she's awake. She gets up at 8 every day.

I mean, it's ok for you to not text me because we're not really friends.

You're just a friend in my head.

She's my best friend, though.

Ugh, I think she's mad at me for going home without her. We were supposed to stay at her place for the night.

Ok, let's play 5 minutes.

Cause if I was jay-z you'd be my Beyoncé we could rock the nation like they do

4minutes. (It's by the summer set)

2minutes (you may not know it.)

1 minute. Seriously look it up.

Ok, you're busy. I get it.

Everyone's alwayssss busy

You're gonna be in Miami tonight.

What a cool place to end the tour.

I'm thinking about going to the University of Miami for college.

I would like to go to the University of New South Wales, but I have no money to move.

Maybe for grad school, I'll go there.

That's what's after undergrad right?

Idk. The first four years I'll go to Miami, and raise money to go to UNSW

That is if I don't start a band first. :3

That would be the bestest.

Then I could be like you and drop out of school.

Haha not really life goals, but if I could be famous and do what I love rather than some boring job, I'd prefer that.

Ok. Looks like you're dead again. I'll text you tomorrow.

11/02/2015

So apparently Flora wasn't mad. She said she just slept all day.

Today was weird. This guy Nathan, who I've had a crush on for forever, asked me on a date.

It was awesome and I'm so happy.

I'm very confused, though. I didn't think he knew my name.

Flora's friends with him though so maybe that how he knew me.

Either way, I have a date Friday night!

Michael Halp. What do I do on a date?

Of course, you don't decide to pop in now.

I could use your help.

Fine, I'll figure it out myself.

11/06/2015

Agh! Today's the day!

I get to go on a date with Nathan!

I'm excited.

I don't know if I should tell him I'm married to you or not...

He probably wouldn't want to date a married woman.

Haha, I'm so funny.

Anywho.

I'll talk to you later. He's here!

Wish me luck!

I'm baaaaack

The date went amazing!

Nathan is perfect.

Well, I'd still trade him for you, but since that's unrealistic, I'm gonna go for him!

I had my first kiss tonight, and it was magical

I sound like such a girl.

That's ok, though. Cause I am a girl.

I didn't tell him about my obsession, but I'm sure the truth will come out eventually.

I think you did wish me luck. You're my good luck charm.

Goodnight Mikey :3


	5. Love and Ships

12/25/2015

5secsofclifford:

Merry Christmas!

It's been a while, hasn't it?

I've just been busy with Nathan and exams.

Speaking of Nathan, things have been going well.

We were watching Netflix in my room the other day.

That was the first time he's been in my room and he learned about my obsession.

He just laughed at me which made me happy.

You still come first, though. Lol. I didn't tell him that, though.

#Mrs.Clifford

Dat's me

I asked my parents for a Michael Clifford for Christmas.

Needless to say, I did not find you under the tree.

I did get an iPhone 6 though, so I'm happy.

I sent you a present as well :3

I don't know if your gonna get it, but I collaged all your ROWYSO tour posters into one.

That way you can remember it forever.

You probably would anyway, but whatever.

01/01/2016

HAPPY NEW YEARS!

Omg Michael, Nathan told me he loves me! <3

I think I love him too. I told him I do.

I don't really know what love is, but I think this is it.

So who was your New Years kiss?

Calum?

Maybe not. But that would be cute.

Or maybe you were with a girl. Or some other boy. I bet whoever it was is awesome.

You seem like you would choose someone smart for you.

Oh, how's Brashton?

Bryanna isn't my favorite person in the world, but she sure seems to make Ashton happy.

Huh. I'm so in love. Nathan is amazing.

I wonder what our ship name would be?

What's Ninette and Nathan?

Nathette?

Yea. That's cute! I'm telling everyone when I go back to school.

Awe! He just sent me an adorable goodnight text! <3

Speaking of which, it's 4:00 here, so it's definitely time for bed.

Goodnight Mikey! I love you!

01/04/2016

Hi, Mikey :)

You guys are back in Australia!

It's noon there so I know you're awake.

It's already 10 p.m. here so I have to leave soon.

I'm gonna try to stay awake for you.

Oh, so Nathan thinks Nathette is adorable <3

Flora thinks it's lame, but I don't care.

Shipping is lyfee.

Let's play a new 5 minutes. I'll ask a question and you have 5 minutes to answer.

Who's your favorite ship?

4 min.

2 min. Do you seriously not ship things?

Wow. I am so ashamed.

Michael5sos

What?

Oh ok. I get it. I thought there was some rumor going around 

5secsofclifford

Hi :3 now answer the question.

Michael5sos

Lol ok. Uh... I'm gonna go with Muke ;)

5secsofclifford

Omg, are you kidding?

Michael5sos

Yea. Lol. Everyone in 5sos is straight. But Muke fanfictions are the best.

5secsofclifford

I am done. I can't believe you read fanfictions!

Michael5sos

It's actually really interesting! I even have a secret watt pad account :3

5secsofclifford

Omg! Please tell me what it is.

Michael5sos

Nope. I'm afraid you'll tell.

5secsofclifford

Ok, what if next time you notice me you'll tell me?

That's like, 1 in a million chance, and I won't tell anyone you even have a watt pad account.

Michael5sos

Deal. Haha. What time is it where you live?

5secsofclifford

Almost midnight. I need to go to bed. :( goodnight Mikey!

Michael5sos

Goodnight! <3


	6. Perfection

02/06/2016

5secsofclifford

Hey Mikey <3

I screen shot our last conversation so that if you notice me again I have proof of your promise.

You can definitely trust me too.

I never make promises I can't keep.

So how are you?

Your tweet this morning was so sweet.

It's cool to know even though you toured the world for months, you still miss us fans.

I hope someday I get to meet you.

A Michael Clifford hug would just make my heart melt!

Don't tell Nathan I said that.

Heehee.

Speaking of Nathan, today was our 3 month anniversary.

It feels like our first date was just yesterday.

I really love him.

I do feel bad, though, because I can't help but love you more.

Maybe if I got to know you I wouldn't.

It's my perception of you that I'm in love with.

Oh well. He knows I'm a fan girl, so he's going to have to live with it.

I have to go Mikey. Nathan is taking me on a date.

02/07/2016

Oh, my god! It's 1:00 in the morning.

I just got home an hour ago.

Nathan is perfect <3

He picked me up at 8:30, and took me to our local park.

He had candles set up on the bridge, and we sat and had a moonlight picnic.

It was gorgeous!

Then we watched movies and cuddled until it got late.

I feel like my life is just perfect!

I have the perfect boyfriend, I'm in love, and you've talked to me twice.

Sure I still don't have too many friends, but I have Flora and Nathan I don't need anyone else.

Goodnight Mikey :)

Well, Afternoon for you.

03/10/2016

Hola Chico!   
I have had Fly Away stuck in my head all day.

I can't wait for you guys to perform it live. It's such a pretty song.

Ok, so I need your opinion on something.

It's kind of personal, but I trust you.

Flora thinks in order to keep Nathan interested, we should...do things.

Like... the sexuals.

I'm only 17 though and I don't think I'm ready.

I don't want to lose Nathan though.

He hasn't said anything about it, but maybe Flora's right.

I mean, what do I know?

She's had a ton of relationships.

This is my first.

I don't know. I love Nathan. Flora just thinks I should show him.

I don't know what to do Michael.

When you have a girlfriend, do you expect...things to keep you interested?

You have 5 minutes to answer ;)

3 minutes.

2 minutes. Come on. I need your help.

1 minute!

That's disappointing.

Oh well. I guess this is something I have to figure out myself anyways.

So, do you have some secret relationship?

You probably wouldn't tell me if you did.

Well, if you do, she's a lucky girl.

How's Muke going ;)

I bet it's great. Although Luke has been partying a lot without you.

I suppose you've been stuck in your man cave. ;)

I would love to hang out with you in your man cave.

Ok. Bye Mikey. I'll talk to you later <3


	7. Pressure

03/21/2016

5secsofclifford

Hey, Mikey.

So you know how I was telling you about Flora telling me to do the sexuals with Nathan?

Well, I guess she was right. His 18th birthday is coming up on the 1st of April, and he was hinting towards us doing it as his 'present'.

He did it in front of all his friends too.

I just laughed it off, but I seriously don't know what to do!

I'm just, not ready, but he is and maybe I should just do it.

Get my first time over with. What's the big deal anyway?

I'm pretty sure I'm the only virgin in the 11th grade. Nathan is already a senior and he's dated older girls, and I just... I just love him so much.

He's my everything.

I mean, I should probably just tell him how I feel. That's always what they do in fan fiction

But Flora just said I was being silly when I told her. She said it's just fun and if I love him I won't care.

Then she questioned if I did love him, and I do! I don't want him to question it.

So I guess there's only one thing to do:(

Oh, Mikey what do I do?

Is this supposed to be so stressful?

I don't think so. Maybe it'll just be easy once it starts. In fanfiction, it's always so romantic and beautiful.

Ugh. I'm just gonna update my watt pad story, and then go to bed. That usually clears my head.

Goodnight Mikey :)

03/22/2016

I think I'm having a panic attack, Mikey.

God, I'm pathetic.

Nathan and I were making out, and he, ugh. He tried to tug my shirt off. I stopped him and told him I didn't feel well but I don't think he believed me.

Now I'm in the school bathroom and I can't stop crying, and I can't breathe.

Shouldn't I want this?

He's my boyfriend of almost 5 months. I should want this. That's what everyone says anyway.

I just think it's too soon. God, I'm an idiot. I should just do it.

I'm sorry for pushing all this on you. You're probably not seeing it anyway, but my problems don't matter. I should be trying harder to start a conversation with you.

How are you?

I hope you're good.

You look good ;)

I'm so cheeky.

Let's play 5 minutes. :3

I'm a wonderess I'm a one night stand...

4 minutes.

3 minutes and it's by Halsey.

2 minutes.

1 min. Come in she's your friend you should know this.

Wow. Ok.

Ugh. I don't want to go to school tomorrow.

Can I just fake being sick?

Then I won't have to deal with Nathan and Flora. I can just stay in bed all day and text you.

My mom won't let me, though. The cons of having a doctor mom.

:/ that face looks so silly.

:///////

Hahaha.

Why is this so amusing.

I don't know.

I'm like 12. Give me a break.

Oh, my god, I'm stupid ok let me release you from me. Haha. I'll text you later. :3

BALLS.

ok, I'm going for real now.

Goodnight Angel :3


	8. Mistakes

03/31/2016

5secsofclifford

MIKEYYYY

My mom forgot to buy toothpaste.

And I'm just like mom, you have to buy toothpaste.

And she's like what are you going on about? Go buy it yourself.

So now I'm at the store buying toothpaste.

I got 5 packs so we never run out. :p

Ok, my teeth are now brushed. Thank god.

That was getting rank.

Let me not disgust you now.

How are you today?

I'm actually quite happy today.

I had this amazing dream last night where you and I were best friends, and I just woke up so happy.

Now I just need it to come true :3

SO TALK TO ME

Ok well, whatever.

Maybe later.

Ugh Nathan just text me. He's ruining my good mood.

He wants me to sneak out and meet him at midnight tonight. Oh god, this is it.

You know what, I'm just going to tell him how I feel...later

 

I'm just gonna go hang out with Dan and Phil.

Do you know who they are?

They're amazing YouTubers. And they have a talk show on BBC radio 1.

I also like ThatcherJoe, Casper lee, and Zoella. Oh and Tyler Oakley and Uh what's his name.

Ugh, hold on.

CONNOR FRANTA

How did I even forget his name? Idek.

But yeah, they're amazing. You should watch them.

Especially Dan and Phil. DanIsNotOnFire is my other boyfriend.

Except he's too old. Your only 2 years set than me.

Well, 2 1/2 but I don't count that.

Man, I love pancakes. They make everything better.

Especially when they're shaped like little hearts or skulls.

I also love to put so much chocolate in them so that they're black.

I'm a confusing person. My favorite colors are black and pink and I love hearts and skulls.

I'm girly and rock at the same time. :3

My music taste is amazing as well.

My playlist goes from you guys to one direction to pierce the veil to Luke Bryan to nickel back. I swear.

But I love it. And that's me. :3 I'm diverse.

I have to go... I'll tell you have it goes with Nathan.

04/01/2016

I'm back home...

I uh, I did it. I didn't tell him how I felt. I just.... I lost my virginity.

I thought I would be happy and more in love than ever. Isn't that how I'm supposed to feel?

Right now I just feel violated and gross. But it's my own fault. I didn't stop him.


	9. Heart Break

04/03/2016

5secsofclifford

Hey, Mikey.

What does it mean when your boyfriend doesn't text you all weekend after he takes your virginity?

I'm not even sad anymore or anything.

I'm just pissed off.

I've done everything for him and now he doesn't want to text me?

I'm going to kill him tomorrow.

Do you think I should go to his house?

Usually, I would ask permission first or tell him I'm coming. But he's really pissing me off.

Ugh, idek. It's too late now. I'll just wait to see him at school tomorrow.

Goodnight Mikey. Thanks for being here for me. <3

You do more for me than you realize

04/04/2016

Oh, my god.

I feel so mortified.

When I got to school everyone was laughing at me, or calling me a whore.

I didn't get it until I talked to Nathan.

God, I hate him.

Apparently, he's been talking to everyone. Telling them I was an easy fuck and just spreading horrible things about me.

What makes things worse is he's been cheating on me the entire time.

I knew he was a player before, but he said he changed.

I was so stupid to believe him.

You know what else he told me? I wasn't even a good fuck. I'm just a stupid boring girl with a stupid obsession.

He told me you would never care about me. He told me no one could ever care about me. He probably right. Flora's been helping him.

She says she hates me. She tried to take me under her wing but all I ever did was ignore her for you guys.

I suppose I have. I didn't mean to. I would never purposely ignore anyone who wants to be my friend. God, I am so stupid.

Mikey, are they right? Do you just find these messages annoying?

You have 5 minutes. If you do find it annoying I'll go away. :(

4 minutes.

3 minutes.

Michael5sos

No, Not at all! I love getting DMs from people. It's sweet. There's just a lot so I can't answer everyone.

5secsofclifford

MIKEY! Thank you, that means a lot to me right now. God, you always manage to make me smile. Thank you.

Michael5sos

Awe thanks :) You fans make me smile all the time as well.

5secsofclifford

OH MIKEY! I JUST REMEMBERED! YOU PROMISED TO TELL ME YOUR WATTPAD!!

Michael5sos

Oh, my god, I remember that. I didn't honestly think I would talk to you again. Oh shit. Hahaha

5secsofclifford

Hand it over Mikey :3 you promised. And I swear I won't tell anyone. On my life.

Michael5sos

Fineee. And just remember, if you do tell, I'll have to kill you.

5secsofclifford

Okkkkkkk. What is it?

Michael5sos

Ok. It's Mr.Clifford

5secsofclifford

Wow. Your so discreet.

Michael5sos

Noone's guessed it's me yet

5secsofclifford

I wouldn't have guessed it was you tbh hahaha

Michael5sos

Wow. I gtg. Byee

5secsofclifford

Byeee

Oh wow, you have a lot of followers.

Well not compared to your Twitter followers....

But 50K is a lot on watt pad.

I'm gonna go read all your Muke stories now.

Oh, next time you right a straight fic the girl's name should be Ninette. B) no specific reason of course...

Ok bye, Mikey <3 Love You!


	10. Fallout

04/08/2016

5secsofclifford

Mikey, I did something really scary.

It's made out to be this horrible thing, but it made me feel better

All week everyone at school has been horrible. They all laugh at me and whisper about me.

Guys come up to me and treat me as if I'm a slut.

Maybe I am. I don't know. All I know is everyone hates me, including the voices in my head.

God, I sound crazy.

Michael, I just cut myself for the first time, and I liked it.

Michael, what's wrong with me? I just had a panic attack. The voices started swirling around my head and it was just horrible!

I feel better now. I'm just a little shaken. God, I need a distraction.

Let's play 5 minutes. A good old original.

You know you know you love the way I linger, and you keep me wrapped a right round your finger

Go

4 minutes.

3\. It's by Marianas Trench.

2\. It's called the B Team.

Michael5sos

You say you say just wait a little longer and anytime I could be the right one.

;) I had to look the song up on google.

5secondsofclifford

Hahaha, I love that song.

Thanks for replying. I needed it right now.

Michael5sos

Oh shit. I'm sorry about what's happening. Kids are asses.

Stay strong ok? Remember I love you <3

5secsofclifford

Oh my gosh, thank you. That literally means the world to me. I'll keep you in mind.

By the way, I was hoping you reply to watt pad messages, but it appears you don't -_-

Michael5sos

Haha, I'm sorry. I don't have time. Most of the time I'm here on Twitter or working or screwing around with the boys.

5secsofclifford

OR WRITING ABOUT FUCKING LUCIFER! Your smut is golden

Michael5sos

Hahaha, thank you, I think? I cringe a lot but it's good writing! I think. It's just a way for me to connect with fans a bit more.

5secsofclifford

I'm going to comment on your story. You better answer. Or else I'll murder you in your sleep.

Michael5sos

Wow ok. Violent.

04/09/2016

5secsofclifford

You replied to my comment :3. My life is complete.

Oh, I'm excited you guys are coming back to America soon.

And since I live in California you're in my time zone :3

I would totally stalk you but I live 5 hours away from LA :(

I think you should come visit me. You are my husband after all.

Mr. Clifford.

Mr. Clifford is ready for you.

:p I actually haven't seen 50 Shades of Grey yet.

I kinda want to, but that's also weird so I kinda don't. Hahaha

So conflicting.

Have you seen it?

You're not gonna answer, are you?

You're on a plane, of course you're not.

You know whenever you message me back, I'm always so happy for at least 3 days afterward.

You are a magical man Mr. Clifford.

:3 (Say thank you)

You're still on a plane.

I should go before I make myself look like an idiot.

Who am I kidding I've already made myself look like an idiot.

Bye Mikey :) I love you <3

Thanks for being my light in the dark.


	11. Bullying

04/11/2016

5secsofclifford

I thought everything would die down over the weekend, but I was clearly wrong.

If anything it's gotten worse. Flora has started spreading my secrets around. Why did I even tell her everything about me?

Guys either act creepy around me or they laugh at me. Everyone calls me a whore.

I just feel so stupid. Why did I think a guy like Nathan could like a girl like me? Someone quiet and weird and obsessed with a band?

I doubt you could even like a girl like me. I bet you have a ton of cool friends and anyone would want to hang out with you.

There's probably a bunch of girls that are amazing enough for you. Girls who are gorgeous and good at video games so you can play together all the time and they'd be sexy and sweet.

God I would do anything to be that girl that you decide you love.

I never will be, though. I'm just me. Boring old Ninette with the weird name. Maybe I should go by Nina. Maybe I will. Not that I have anyone to tell to call me that. My parents won't.

Who knows this still has a chance to blow over. If I just ignore them, maybe they'll leave me alone.

Goodnight Mikey :) Have fun writing music.

04/15/2016

Mikey this has been the worst Friday ever.

I tried ignoring them and doing my thing. They didn't like that, though.

They were all taunting me like usual, which I can handle. I just kept walking. Then someone got angry. It was one of Nathan's friends I think. He pulled me down by my hair, ripping out a large chunk and then everything became a blur.

They just kept hitting me and beating me and I don't know why. No teacher came to help.

I'm so bruised right now and I'm in so much pain. My mom is worried, but I told her it's nothing.

I hurt myself again as well. I know you told me to stay strong, and I'm trying, but I guess I'm just weak. I'm sorry Mikey.

God, I deserve all of this too. If I hadn't been so naive and stupid this wouldn't have happened. If I had been a good friend this wouldn't have happened. But because I was selfish now I'm getting what I deserve.

I have to go. I'm sorry Mikey.

04/16/2016

Um hi. I couldn't sleep. I know it's one in the morning but I had to talk to someone.

How are you? You seem to be having fun with the boys. I can't believe Calum is 20. You're going to be 21 this year as well. Soon you'll be able to drink here in America ;).

Ugh, my body hurts. I just want a giant ice pack to lay over my entire body.

I suppose I could take an ice bath but that sounds way too cold.

I'm sorry for talking about myself so much. I should ask how you are more often.

I'm going to try to sleep. Goodnight Mikey.


	12. Friendless

04/22/2016

5secsofclifford

Happy Earth Day Mikey!

It's really only happy because there's no school. Woohoo

Usually, I would call Flora and ask to hang out with her. Or Nathan. They both don't like me anymore, though.

No one really likes me. Things haven't changed much. I've just kind of accepted that I did this to myself. I was stupid.

But I've decided since you're my only friend now, I'm going to treat you right. I'm not going to go on and on about how miserable I am.

Some may ask why I consider you my friend since you don't really talk to me much. 

I know you're busy though and even if you don't consider me your friend, I consider you my friend. You've helped me through so much.

So I'm trying to keep my promise to stay strong. That's what a good friend does. It's really hard, though. I'll admit I'm only one day clean. It's a start, though.

It hasn't been going on for too long either so it shouldn't be too hard to stop. At least I'm trying to you.

Anyway enough about me. How are you?

Your stories are going great on Watt pad. Luke is hilarious in your Muke story.

That makes me think you're probably doing good. If you're not I hope you get better soon. You don't deserve for anything bad to happen to you.

Oh no. Flora just replied to one of my indirects to you. I've been sending them all day hoping you'll see them there.

I'm scared to look at what she said. What if she's completely horrible? I mean... Well, let me just look.

*shared @FloralDay's tweet*: Stop wasting your time. He's never going to want to be friends with a selfish whore like you. Just give up.

Mikey.... Is she right? Yea she probably is. I have to go. I'm sorry for bothering you.

04/23/2016

I'm sorry if I bother you but you said I didn't and I can't just talk to no one. I'm sorry but unless you tell me to leave I won't. I need someone.

I'm completely alone. I have no friends anymore. You're the only one who seems to care in the slightest.

Maybe you're just a good person who cares about everyone, but that's all I need.

I just, I had to text you. It's just after midnight and the voices keep coming. I can't stop them.

I need a distraction. Can we play 5 minutes?

Everybody's got their demons, even wide awake or dreaming.

4 minutes.

3 minutes.

2 minutes.

1 minute.

I'm just gonna finish the line because I know you know it.

I'm the one who's always leaving, make it ok.

That song is beautiful by the way. Your voice is heavenly.

I wish I could wake up and fall asleep to that voice every day. I never will, though. :(

I should go.

Goodnight Mikey. Have a great time in LA. Tell the boys to have fun as well.


	13. How to Cope

04/30/2016

5secsofclifford

Mikey things have gotten so much worse.

I got my phone taken for a week, I don't even know why, but I did and then I had no one to talk to, so I couldn't keep my promise.

I've cut myself nearly every day and it just, it sucks.

I have literally no one, and I don't know how to cope with this. The beatings have gotten worse, and everyone just turns away. My mom doesn't even ask what's wrong anymore.

I have bruises and cuts everywhere. My body hurts. There's nothing I can do about it, though.

I scare myself, because whenever they start beating me the only two thoughts that enter my head, is please make them stop, and please let them kill me.

It scares me, Mikey. I'm not that depressed girl. That's not who I'm supposed to be. I'm the shy girl with one or two friends who's an obsessive fan girl.

That's the only thing I find joy in anymore. I stalk Twitter and talk to people like me.

I love it when you tweet. Lately, you've been so sweet and helpful, and it makes me wonder if you think about me.

You're story paper cuts also makes me want to cry. Beth better live. That's all I'm saying.

God Mikey, in two days I have to go back to hell. Can't I just stay in bed forever? My mom won't let me, though.

You know what the saddest thing is? I miss him. I miss Nathan so much. The sweet kisses we'd share, and the cute little notes he'd give me.

It hurts so much to know none of it was real. The whole time he was with someone else.

Did I deserve that? I try to tell myself I didn't. I can't help but feel like I did, though.

I'm not coping well, Mikey.

I'll text you tomorrow.

05/01/2016

Finally May Mikey.

Only 6 weeks until school ends. I wonder how I'll survive it.

I have to go to the store. I'll be back later.

Mikey, they found me. Nathan and his group. They found me in the parking lot.

They hit me and laughed at me. I'm bleeding everywhere, but I just feel numb. I can't get up so I'm just laying here.

They dragged me to the back of the store behind the dumpster. I'm pretty sure I have road rash now, and they hit my head pretty hard.

I didn't even fight back. Why should I? There's a reason they hate me.

I think I'll just lay here until I die. That sounds nice.

What do you think Mikey? Does that sound like a good plan to you?

Yeah?

Ok, that's what I'll do.

Michael5sos

Oh, sweetheart. You need to get up. I know it's hard, and you want to give up, but I love you. I don't want to lose you.

5secsofclifford

No, you don't. You don't care Mikey. You don't actually know me. Yeah, I text you all the time but you don't see the half of it.

Michael5sos

Ok, that's true. That doesn't mean I don't care, though. Ok?

So, please. Please call your mum and have her come get you. Tell her what happened. Do it for me. Please.

5secsofclifford

Ok. Only for you. I love you, Mikey. <3


	14. Parent Problems

05/02/2016

5secsofclifford

Hey, Mikey. Thank you so much for yesterday. I just felt so hopeless. Thank you for saving me.

I am so sorry for even doing that. I don't know where my brain was.

When my mum found me, she started asking all kinds of questions. I didn't answer any of them.

She wanted to know who was doing this and why. I just told her it was no big deal.

I mean, it's not really. It's just Nathan and Flora punishing me for being such a bad friend.

Yea it sucks but that's life. God, life sucks so much.

You dedicated a chapter of Paper Cuts to me. Holy shit.

I'm crying. That was so sweet. I can't believe you remember my watt pad username.

I love you so much, Mikey. You'll never know just how much you do for me.

Now you partially know. You helped to save my life.

That means everything to me. If I ever meet you, I'm going to hug you. For as long as I can.

I'll hug the others too, but they'll never mean as much to me as you do.

Thank you so much, Mikey. I love you. Goodnight <3

05/03/2016

I am so pissed off.

My mom called the fucking school.

I got called into the office I'm the middle of class to talk to a counselor.

Why does she have to get involved? Nothing that bad is happening. I can handle it.

Why can't she realize that!

I told the counselor my mom just thought I was getting beat up and I actually have just started skateboarding. She believed me I think.

I'm just so mad. My mom is constantly watching me now as well.

She won't let me go out, and she threatened to homeschool me if this keeps happening.

So basically I need better concealer.

Ugh. I hate everything right now. I have no privacy at home anymore, school is hell.

You're my light, Mikey. Keep shining. Cause I need you.

I wish I was born 3 years earlier and in west Sydney. I bet we could've been friends.

I don't think you would've left me either. Even now we would still be close and you would text me all the time.

Who knows maybe I could've even been your guys' manager.

That would be cool as shit.

I'm writing a fanfiction about it now. This is happening.

That seems to be my whole world these days. You and fanfictions. I've been updating more and more stories. It's all I can do to distract myself.

It hasn't helped much, though.

I'll be in the middle of writing, and then I'll just start thinking and then demons take over.

Basically, my self-harm has just escalated.

I know I broke our promise. I'm really sorry about that. I just can't keep it though

I'm just not strong enough.

It has gotten better since my mom has been watching me, but I'm sure she'll get bored soon enough.

Mikey what am I going to do. I just want to get through life happily, but I'm starting to think I'll never be happy.


	15. Kitty Cats

05/04/2016

5secsofclifford

Hey, Mikey.

What would you consider to be overweight for a girl who's 5'1?

I weigh 120.

Idk it's dumb. Some kid thought it would be funny to call me fat, though. Maybe he's right.

Idk. I just can't get it out of my head. Maybe I'll go on a diet.

That would mean giving up pizza though and pizza is lyfe.

I guess we'll see.

How have you been?

You guys have been in Cali for a while now. I want to go visit you so badly but you live quite far away.

Plus my mom still won't let me leave the house.

So instead I'll message you religiously.

Oh you know we haven't played 5 minutes in forever. That's my favorite game now because that's how I got you to answer me the first time.

Ok, you have 5 minutes to answer this question: if you could be a cat would you be? Why or why not?

4 minutes.

3 minutes.

2 minutes. I have my answer.

1 minute.

You lose.

I would be. Cause cats have it good. The fatter they are, the cuter they are and no one hates cats. I would always be loved by everyone.

Except, people with cat allergies.

And people who hate cats. But they don't count as people.

Someday I think cats are going to rule the world.

What do you think?

We'll just go with you agree with me.

I must seem confusing. I'm always so happy when I talk to you, but I talk about being so sad.

That's what you do to me, Michael Clifford. You make me the happiest girl in the world.

That's why you're my husband. :3

Ok, goodnight Mikey. I love you.

05/05/2016

So I did a thing.

This morning I skipped breakfast.

I was hungry by lunch, but I forced myself to only eat half my sandwich and no chips. It feels really good actually

I feel emptier. Maybe if I continue this I'll be skinny soon.

I guess I am dieting after all. If this goes well I won't be the fat kitty anymore. I'll be slender and model like.

Maybe then people will like me.

That's my goal. I just put it on my mirror so I'll see it every day. This is actually making me happy.

Yea I still get bullied, but I don't want to hurt myself right now. I did good today.

I just have to keep it up.

I hope you're having a good day as well. Writing amaze-balls music for the next album.

That should be the title of the album. Amaze-Balls.

Actually, Amaze-Ballz would look cooler.

Yup. You should totally do that.

I know Luke is whipped and would do it for you ;)

And then Ashton and Calum won't be too hard to persuade.

Oh god, what am I doing? I think I've lost my mind.

I should just go.

Goodnight Mikey!! I love you to the moon ;)

(And back. But I was quoting your tattoo.)

Omg I should totally get and back tattooed onto my arm. If we were dating I'd do it.

Ok, goodnight for realz. I'm tired.


	16. Conversations

05/06/2016

5secsofclifford

Hey, Mikey.

Today has been a really long day. I hope you've had a good day.

So school was as per usual, I cried, I dealt with it. Whatever.

Then when I get home from school my mom wants to have a conversation. This worries me because she's been so overbearing lately.

So we talk and she asks me what's going on. I lie to her at first, but she sees right through it. After she threatens to not let me go to school until I tell her, I finally tell the truth.

It was really hard and I ended up crying and it was just all bad. She cried and just everything feels horrible. I feel horrible for making her sad.

Now she's calling a psychiatrist. I don't want to go to therapy. I don't have issues. I just realize that I'm not a great person. Is that so bad?

To her it is. So I guess I have that tomorrow. I'm really reluctant to open up to a stranger. Especially one who doesn't really care. She's only listening because that's what she gets paid to do.

Idek. I'm just so upset right now. Everything is falling apart, and now my mom is burdened with my problems and it's all bad.

On the bright side, I skipped breakfast and lunch today successfully. I am quite hungry, but I'm sure it'll pass.

Soon I'll be at my goal of 95 pounds. I mean that's 25 pounds away, but at least I'm starting. Everything starts somewhere.

Ok. I should go. Sleep well Mikey. Have good dreams.

05/07/2016

Ehhh.

I have therapy today.

I think I'm just not going to talk at all. What's the point?

She's just going to take notes and observe me like some animal. I'm not I'm perfectly fine.

My mom is calling. I have to go.

Hi :3

So I don't think my therapist likes me. I don't like her either.

She's all blonde and preppy and whatever. She treated me like a child.

So I stuck with my plan not to say anything. I feel a bit guilty but she doesn't need to know my life. It's not worth it anyways.

No one else cares. Except you. You always seem to care. It makes me happy.

Never the less, she probably wouldn't. She'd probably laugh at me and tell me I'm getting what I deserve. That's what everyone else says.

Except, my mom. She seemed disappointed but she's my mom. She hasn't seen that side of me. She doesn't realize I was a horrible selfish friend who deserves this.

I deserve all the bruises and cuts I get. I earned them. I'm pretty much worthless to the world.

No one likes someone who only thinks about themselves.

I swear I'm trying to get better, though. I've been thinking about my mom and how she feels and you and the boys. It's not enough, though.

I always end up talking about myself or thinking about myself. That's why no one wants me here.

Maybe someday I'll give them what they want...


	17. Exposed

05/08/2016

5secsofclifford

Hey, Mikey!

What are you doing for Mother's Day?

It would be adorable if you made a cute Twitter video or something. Although that's kinda personal and not for the Internet. I guess you'll probably send something personal.

I've saved up some money and I'm taking my mom out to see the new Skylandia movie. She's in love with the series.

She read the books when she was 16 and she's been hooked ever since.

I'm excited to see her face when I show her the tickets.

*video* Awe did you see how happy she looked? That's happier than she's looked in days.

I'm getting ready now. We need to be there by noon.

Do you like the Skylandia series?

I was raised to like it.

Ok, I'll talk to you later. Bye bye.

I am so done with everything now. They found me at the theater. They messed with me in front of my mom. They messed with my mom.

They made her watch them beat me bloody. I don't care if they beat me or call me names. I don't care. But don't mess with my mom. She doesn't deserve this.

I'm just ruining things for her. If I wasn't here that would have never happened. She could be happy.

God, I hate people. Goodnight Angel.

05/09/2016

Can I just stay in bed today?

My mom wants me to but I explained this happens every day. She cried again, but I hugged her and promised her I'm ok.

I am ok. I'm completely fine. I have you to keep me sane.

I wish you would talk to me again. I know your busy, though. You don't have time to talk to a girl with so many problems. Especially since she causes her own problems.

I have to go Mikey.

Mikey, why are people so horrible? Nathan saw my cuts today.

He took a picture and put it on Twitter.

I'm mortified. Everyone is talking about how I just want attention and for people to feel sorry for me

Is that what I wanted? I don't think it is but maybe it is. I'm so unsure of everything.

They all told me I should just do it. End everything. What they don't know is I've already considered it multiple times.

Mikey what do I do. I don't want to leave everything behind quite yet. I'm not ready. But I'm angering everyone around me. And I'm hurting my mom. If I don't do something soon, I'm just a horrible person.

Maybe I am doing this for attention. That's all I talk about. What are you up to?

Are you good?

Is this why you left me? Are you sick of me talking about myself?

I don't know. Just know I still love you. I really do.

I should just take a nap and relax. Goodnight Mikey. I love you.


	18. Recovery?

05/10/2016

5secsofclifford

Hey, Mikey.

How are you?

I've been ok.

Rumors have been flying about me. I'm pretty sure almost everyone knows now.

They all think I'm doing it for attention. I was already an outcast, but now I feel completely hated by everyone.

My mom wants me to recover, Nathan's group wants me to end it, everyone else just wants me to disappear.

I don't see how I could recover at this point.

I know it's only been about a month and a half but I just feel so hopeless all the time.

When I talk to you things get better, and listening to your music makes things better. But that's it.

Everyone else just seems to make it worse.

My mom wants me to continue counseling. I don't want to. It doesn't do any good.

:( it just makes me feel bad for putting my problems on her shoulders. Especially when I'm in too deep.

I can't think of a way I can possibly recover. If I don't cut, then voices tell me to end it all and do what they want. When I cut it goes away.

Is that so bad? It's my way of surviving.

I don't know. I want to make my mom happy. She's the only person (besides you) I have left. She's my mom.

But maybe instead I should just go away so she doesn't have to worry about me.

That seems like a good idea.

Ugh, I'm hungry. I haven't eaten anything today but I want it to stay that way.

I don't know why I bother but I have to at least try to be pretty. I'm almost down to 110. Almost. Hopefully, by tomorrow I'll be under.

If not I'll be really sad. I've been trying so hard.

Mikey, I'm bored. Let's play 5 minutes.

I've never told a lie, and that makes me a liar. I've never made a bet, but we gamble in desire.

You have 5 minutes to sing the next verse.

4 min.

3 min. You did a cover of this song.

2 min. It's by ATL

1 min. Are you serious?

Wow.

I'll finish it for you.

I've never lit a match with intent to start a fire, but recently the flames are getting out of control.

I really like the next verse as well.

Call me names, kill me with words, forget about me it's what I deserve.

I relate to that line. That's how I feel most of the time.

Ok, let's play again.

Ok you have 5 minutes to answer this:   
Even though it seems useless to me, should I try to talk to my counselor and recover? For my mom and for you if you say yes?

4 min.

Michael5sos

That's not a fun question. Yes, you should definitely talk to your counselor. You deserve to be happy. You're a sweetheart and the world deserves to see the light that emanates from you.

5secsofclifford

Awe thank you! I think that's the sweetest thing anyone's ever told me. And coming from you that makes it 10 times better.

I'll talk to her for you. I'll try to recover.

Michael5sos

Good. Cause I like talking to you. Even if it is in short little blurbs.

5secsofclifford

I like talking to you too. Even if you don't answer most of the time. :)

Michael5sos

Goodnight beautiful <3 stay strong and remember I love you. The others love you too but not as much as me. :3

5secsofclifford

Thank you so much. I love you too. Goodnight <3


	19. Hopeless

06/10/2016

5secsofclifford

Hi. It's been a while.

I uh. I've tried. Really hard. For you.

I talked to my counselor. She recommended that I get rid of all internet access and pretty much all access to the world.

That's why I've been gone.

I saw her every day and had a tutor to keep up with my lessons.

Um, nothing... Nothing's really gotten better.

I still have horrible thoughts, and I want to self-harm but I haven't been able to. I've been constantly watched.

I've been so alone. No one wonders where I've been. No ones come by my house to check on me.

I could be dead, and literally, no one would care.

Mikey, I think that's what I'm going to do. No one wants me here.

I got cleared by faking being okay the last week. I'm allowed to go back into the world now. I'm scared.

I've had a lot of time to think, and I've decided that if everyone still hates, I'll do it.

They'll be rid of me, my mom won't have to worry about her broken daughter, and you'd have one less annoying fan texting you every day.

Goodnight Mikey. I love you. Just know that. <3 thank you for helping me.

06/11/2016

I hate everyone.

No, I hate myself.

God, I'm so stupid. Why did I think People would actually like me now.

Ok here's the story.

I was out at the park, just walking, and I saw Nathan's group. They came up to me asking where I've been. One of them said suicide watch and they all laughed. Then Someone got an idea and dragged me away to some dark alley.

He had his friend hold me and took out a pencil sharpener. Idk why he had it. He crushed it and took out the blade.

He taunted me about cutting and lifted up my sweater sleeves. He saw that I haven't cut in a while and said that he would be 'helping me'. He cut my fucking wrist to fucking ribbons.

It's all up and down my arms, and there was so much blood.

It wasn't deep cuts, I've done much much worse, but it's just the proof I was looking for. They would feel better if I was gone.

I sat there numb long after they were gone. They got bored when they couldn't make me cry. I'm just so numb to it. I'm like a robot with no emotions.

I can't... I can't do this anymore. I don't want to burden everyone with my existence. That's all I do. I'm not meant to be here.

So I've made a final decision. I will complete my Junior year of high school. There's only a week left. They can deal with me for one week. I just need some time to get some letters together.

One for my therapist, one for my mom, and one for Flora and Nathan.

I need them to know how sorry I am, and how I'm doing this for them. I want everyone else to be happy since I can't. I can't be happy knowing I'm a horrible person.

So I guess I have one more week with you. If there is an afterlife, I'll keep an eye on you. You're my angel. The one who's kept me alive this whole time. I love you Michael Clifford, and dead or alive I will ALWAYS remember you.


	20. A Cry For Help

06/17/2016

5secsofclifford

Hi, Mikey.

I wrote the letters.

It took me forever to get them right. Now I'm just going to write yours.

Dear Mikey,

Even if you don't see this, it's important for me to write it. You have been here for me through everything. Even before you followed me, I'd write stories and they would help me. I would turn on your music and it would make me smile. I'd read through your tweets and they'd make me laugh. Then when you replied to me, that was the best moment of my life. You have been my everything. You're my first love. God, I love you so much. So that tweet where you helped me with my anxiety, that meant everything. After that, I got distracted with Nathan and Flora but I still thought about you constantly. I still do.

I just need you to know that you've saved my life up until now. You've made it ok. Now it's time to say goodbye and that's really hard. It's hard to say goodbye to you. Everyone else, I felt like I was doing good and it was fine. Now that I'm typing this up I'm having second thoughts. I know I'll still do it, though. You always tell me you love me, though. You told me to stay strong and that my life was worth it. You told me to get better. I can't, though. I'll never be better. I'll always disappoint everyone and be selfish. That's ok, though. I know you won't miss me. You have a million girls texting you every day. I'll miss you immensely, though. You've been my light in the dark. The dark just happened to take over.

I love you, Mikey. I love you so much. Keep on being happy. It's nice to know the person I care most about, won't wish I was still alive. It's comforting that this won't cause you pain. You're an angel Mikey. I hope to see you again in about 80 years ok? I'll be waiting. Don't forget I'm your wife ;). Ok bye, Mikey.

That was hard to write. I don't know why. I just love you and I don't want to say goodbye. I have to, though. (And I lowkey say though too much but the author doesn't feel like editing out right now).

Ok before I leave forever, let's play one last round of 5 minutes. How does that sound?

You have 5 minutes to say goodbye. I have everything ready. If you say goodbye, I'll leave with a smile. That's how everyone wants to die right? Ok, go.

4 minutes.

3 minutes.

2 minutes.

1 minute.

Michael5sos

Wait!

Wait wait wait stop.

I want to play 5 minutes now. Ok? Text me every minute for 5 minutes to get a surprise. But you can't kill yourself or you won't see it.

5secsofclifford

Ok. God, I'll do anything for you.

Ok. It's been a minute. I'm still here Mikey. Don't worry.

Thank you for caring about me. God, I'm sobbing. I can't believe you actually care.

It's been 3 minutes. What's the surprise, Mikey?

Ok, I finally managed to stop crying. I'm listening to you guys now. It's very comforting.

It's been 5 minutes. Wow a second ago I wanted to kill myself but now all I want to do is cuddle with you.

Michael5sos

*Video of Michael singing A Little Too Much by Shawn Mendes*

That's for you ok?

5secsofclifford

Oh, my god. I can believe you made a cover for me. You just... I love you so much. Thank you.

I can not believe you took the time to sing me that song. You looked so sad too.

Michael5sos

I told you I care about you. Don't end things ok?

5secsofclifford

I just.. Everyone hates me. I cause my mom pain, I just can't win. There's no point.

Michael5sos

I know it's hard. It sucks a lot. But you can make it. It will get better and I bet your mom loves you.

Here, I'm trusting you with my kik, ok? I'm going to text you all the time now. So I don't have to struggle to look through my DMs to find you. I have to go to an interview sweetheart. But go hug your mum. My kik is ThatGuyWhoPlaysGuitar5 send me a quick text and I'll text you as soon as I can.

5secsofclifford

Oh, my god. Ok, I will. I promise. I'll stay here for you. I love you, Mikey. You're my angel.


	21. "Hi, I'm Michael"

_06/17/2016_

**Mrs. Clifford**

**Michael**

Um hi. You asked me to text you...

Hi! I just got back from the interview. How are you?

I'm alive... :)

Well, that's good....

I'm Michael! (As you know but whatever) what's your name?

I'm Ninette. :) This is so weird to actually have you actively texting me

I know you're like the luckiest person ever ;)

Haha, I sure am.

How are you? Are you guys going to actually release some music soon?

We aaaaare. I'm excited. You're going to love it. I hope.

I probably will. I love everything yall have released so far.

Awe thank you. You're so sweet.

Thanks....

What's with the dots??

Oh, it's just not many people say that to me. :://

Well, they should. And that's a scary face.

Haha it is

So how old are you Ninette?

I'm 17. I'm going to be 18 in November. :3 I'm excited to get out of here and go to college.

Uni*

I would've understood college. -_- I may not have graduated school but I'm still smart

lol sorry. I didn't want you to get confused. ;)

It's late I should go. I'm tired. Goodnight Mikey. Thank you for everything. :)

Your welcome :) goodnight Ninette <3

06/18/2016

Good morning Mikey :)

I hope you're still here.

You're probably just asleep.

Ok well, maybe you're gone. It was nice talking to you anyways.

Oh no, I'm still here lol.

MIKEY!!!

Lol. I was reading through all of your tweets.

Oh. Yea. Those. There's a lot.

There's not that many. It only took me a few hours.

But it makes me really mad to know that you were so happy and then these fuckers came in and made you so sad.

You deserve better than that. You're a sweet girl.

Awe thank you, Mikey <3 you're gonna make me cry.

Awe why? Don't cry.

Sorry, it's just a lot. For one I'm texting you! My idol and everything and then you think I'm sweet and you're just an angel.

Awe thank you. :)

Why did you decide to text me anyways? Like there are tons of people going through shit that message you. Why me?

Idk. I just knew I could trust you with it because of the whole watt pad thing, and I remembered your username because I'd seen you a lot. I just wanted to talk to you.

Well, I'm glad you did :) this is like my dream right here. Haha

Awe I'm a boring texter. You might get bored of me.

I don't think I could ever get bored of you. Don't worry.

We'll see. :D

Why are you so happy about that? Lol

Because I am. :DD

:DDDDdDdddDdDDdD I win.

Do you. Do you really.

Yes lol. It's perfect.

Eeeeh can I just lay in bed forever?

Sure. But that sounds kinda boring.  
You should drive out to LA and chill wit me.

I would I really would but I don't have a car and my mom's at work.

Why don't you just come out here to Oakland?

Well because Luke is yelling at me to pay attention to what we're supposed to be doing.

Oh, what are you doing?

We're organizing the album and shit. Trying to make it perfect.

You should let me listen to all the songs and help you ;)

Hahaha nice try.

I really have to go. Luke is threatening to cut off my dick.

I'll text you later :*

Not if you kill me by sending me kisses omg.


	22. Fuck Them

_06/19/2016_

**Ninette**

**Michael**

Hallooooo.

I changed my name because I thought about it and that's just awkward to pretend to be your wife when I'm actually talking to you....

Hahaha. It wasn't weird. I mean... A little but not much. Lol. I see it all the time.

Lol. I suppose that's true.

What are you up to today?

Well, we finally decided on the album stuff so we're talking about dates later. Other than that I'm staying in bed all day and looking for something to watch on Netflix.

I feel so special getting the inside stuff on yall. I could make the best update account. But then you probably wouldn't tell me these things.

Yea. Right, you are. It's so weird to see update accounts and think everyone cares about what we're doing. Like I'm a boring person!

Well, you're more interesting than most of us. You make music and you travel the world. We stalk 4 boys all day every day.

That is very true. 

Yup.

Yupp

Yuppp

Yupppp

I like the summer rain I like the sounds you make we put the world away

We get so disconnected!!

Even though we're still very connected on our phones.

Lol. That is true.

Ugh, I want to do something today but I don't want to leave the house.

That sounds like a problem.

It is. Mikey, give me wings with your magic.

Sorry. I ain't got no magic.

:/ you failed me.

Why not just go outside. *gasp*

-_- fine

Walking around the streets of Oakland.

I remember Oakland. We went there once.

I know. I saw you. You guys were great.

Oh, that's cool you were there.

Why would I miss it! You guys are lyfe.

:3 why thank you

Oh No. It's Nathan. Can I just die now?

No. Punch him in the face.

Why would I do that?

Because he's a jackass.

Chilllll. I'm just gonna go home before he sees me.

Fuck that. You need to tell them to fuck off. If you don't stand up for yourself they're never gonna stop.

They don't need to stop. I have no reason to stand up. I'm in the wrong here.

No honey. You're not I promise. You did nothing wrong. I wish I could make you see that. :(

:-(

:--(

:---(

I'm not kidding. You are a sweet person and you don't deserve this. You need to tell them to fuck off. Then maybe this hell you're living in will end.

There's no way I'm living in hell if you're talking to me.... But I'll do it if you want me too. I trust you ...

:) good. Tell me how it goes.

Ok....

MIKEY I DID IT!!

What happened! How'd it go?

I just walked up to them and when they started talking to me I just told them that they were being ass holes and I'm not a whore. I fucked one person who I thought I loved. I never did anything wrong. They all backed the fuck off. Thank you, Mikey. You're amazing.

Awe you did it. I just told you too. All you have to do is have a little confidence 

Just thank you, Mikey. So much.

I think for this you should come up to Oakland and buy me ice cream.

I can't today. But remind me later. ;) We'll Go on an ice cream date. 

... Did you just.

Yes. I told my friend I'll buy her ice cream.

I'm Michael Clifford's friend :3

I noticed that c:

I have to go home and scream now I'll be back in a sec.

Screaming's fun. I'll be here watching attack on Titan.


End file.
